Brittany Nichole Bohn

Hi Sweetie,

Thank you for keeping me strong through my daily workouts I know your with me 100% and Thank you for coming to see me for the 1st time Wednesday night it was so nice to find you in my dreams! I love and miss you so much Brit!!! 

Britt, I guess in people's eye's I did not deserve a condolence for lossing you,I guess people think I failed you, and you know what?, I did, I'm sorry so I send my condolence to you for not being here for your daughter, I will live with this forever, baby, actually I do not care what people think of me, I loved you so much and that is all that matters,It is so different after the death of you, friends that we thought were friends stay away from us, it's like we have a disease, but it is ok, God is with me no one can understand end less they lose a child, it is the worse thing that anybody could go through, I can not bring you back, nothing I can do or change things can bring you back, I fight every single day, to be positive and not feel sorry for myself for loosing you, because I have other kids that love me, but they are hurting they are trying to find a way to cope with your death, Brit they loved you--I feel so guilty, that I could not hug you enough part of me was distance, I am so sorry, I was in my own world nothing matter except what I felt, sorry baby, I did not mean to hurt you, but i was fighting my own battles, I could not show you enough how much I loved you and your brothers and sisters and that is what I will take when I leave this world, in my mind that is all I think about everyday, people I see, enjoying laugh and you left us so brutally makes me sad, but Brittany you left this place to a better place I know that, but it won't sink in my heart, I am so angry, I send you my heart, all my love, weather you except it is up to you baby

I know you kids are angry about the way I brought you up, I should have divorced your father, I should have showed what love is really all about, I thought I was doing the right thing, I ask God to forgive me, if you had a better role model, maybe you would have had better choices about the men you had and you would of had better self esteem, you thought it was ok to be trested like a possesion or a piecce of dirt you only choose the men accordingling to what I set for you, it hurts so much Brit, your death has to teach me something, I though you kids were my, world, I did not protect you because I was afraid to be alone, but Brit you know what the truth is I am alone now and have been for many years well, it's time I face it, and say I must change my life for the rest of my kids, I don't know how I am going to do this yet, I pray to God he shows me the way, you loved God so much I know he took you out of your pain, Brit for my fears, effected you, I am so sorry again, my fears conqured my life, I know this now, Why God why did I have to loose a child for me to see that I did wrong, how is this going to effect the rest of my kids, I have never bowed to anyone, my stupid pride, where did that get me? now I bow down to God and thank him for sending you to me I bow down to him because he let this happen for a reason, now I know he is God, he is the begining and the end of everything, I wonder what else he has in store for me and my family, I deserve this Brit, my pride my anger towards  people and situations that I have no control over he is the boss, now I give him my truly respect, he took part of me, it's like he stabbed me in the heart, he opened my eyes, now I ask him to lead my life in the right direction, I will let him lead my life not my own thoughts but  he is the only one I will bow down to, because he has brought me to my knees almost everyday that I breath ever since you died, some people learn from this experience some don't I hope I am one of them who has learned that nothing is more important than God, with God we could do anything without him we are nothing and can not do anything Brit, I will remember you always telling me mom, don't be so mean, God wants us to forgive one another you have been that example to me, maybe he sent you to me to teach me to forgive it's better to live life every moment instead everyday, we do not know what will happen towmorow it is today, the moment that counts, i still have a way to go, God be patient with me

Britt you were talented in writing down your thoughts I was going through some of your things

some of your letters were filled with love not hatread, I know God gave you to us so we can learn to forgive peopel his main commandment love thy enemies, this was your strength no matter how you were treated, I am so proud of you, i will always celebrate your life and not mourn for you because I know you are free now and everytime my own thoughts gets me down and I start to think you are not happy or I get sad, I will pray to God, because god is a merciful God, Brit all these thoughts, I had for you since you died I had to get it out, I kept all my feelings inside for so long, it's like God unlocked pandoras box, he is letting light come into my life through your death how special you are to him, I will lean on him, not my own understanding, I had a hard time understanding this message from God, I am still going to fall, but Brit with you and God on my side I will bounce back, you are a fighter not a quiter right from the start, when you were a baby you were a fighter, pushed everyone around, you always had to have the last word, and you do, you had the last word---you left me with hope

Our de epest condolences.  We hope that these few words from the Holy Scriptures might give you some comfort in your time of grief...

John 11:32-45

 32 And so Mary, when she arrived where Jesus was and caught sight of him, fell at his feet, saying to him: “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” 33 Jesus, therefore, when he saw her weeping and the Jews that came with her weeping, groaned in the spirit and became troubled; 34 and he said: “Where have YOU laid him?” They said to him: “Lord, come and see.” 35 Jesus gave way to tears. 36 Therefore the Jews began to say: “See, what affection he used to have for him!” 37 But some of them said: “Was not this [man] that opened the eyes of the blind man able to prevent this one from dying?”

38 Hence Jesus, after groaning again within himself, came to the memorial tomb. It was, in fact, a cave, and a stone was lying against it. 39 Jesus said: “TAKE the stone away.” Martha, the sister of the deceased, said to him: “Lord, by now he must smell, for it is four days.” 40 Jesus said to her: “Did I not tell you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?” 41 Therefore they took the stone away. Now Jesus raised his eyes heavenward and said: “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42 True, I knew that you always hear me; but on account of the crowd standing around I spoke, in order that they might believe that you sent me forth.” 43 And when he had said these things, he cried out with a loud voice: “Laz´a·rus, come on out!” 44 The [man] that had been dead came out with his feet and hands bound with wrappings, and his countenance was bound about with a cloth. Jesus said to them: “Loose him and let him go.”

45 Therefore many of the Jews that had come to Mary and that beheld what he did put faith in him;

If you would like more information about the hope expressed in these verses feel free to click at the link below...

http://www.watchtower.org/e/we/article_05.htm