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| Brittany | Mom | November 28, 2013 |
Hello, Brittany, miss you so much..holidays will never be the same with out the special people in my life. Pauline, Grandma and you. grace is growing up so fast, she is loved very much by all, you would be proud of her and you made a beautiful daughter with Jaumar beatiful choice for gracies father, you would be so proud of him..I love him and granny they are doing a good job..raising her with God, with out god, we are nothing...I know you are Gods special one's along with grandma and auntie Pauline..your dad misses you so much and Cheyenne, Brandon, Mike Sierra miss you and we have been lost with out you...We will nver forget you
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| Brittany | Happy Halloween | October 30, 2013 |
HI, I DON'T GET ON YOUR SITE, BECAUSE I CRY, BUT I WANTED TO SAY HAPPY HALLWEEN AND YOU ARE WITH GRANDMA TAKE CARE OF HER AND PAULINE, WE MISS YOU, GRACE, WILL BE WITH US THIS HALLOWEEN, SHE IS GETTIN SO BIG, YOU WOULD BE PROUD OF HER. wER THINK ABOUT YOU ALL OF THE TIME, WATCH OVER YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS FOR ME..YOU WOULD BE PROUD OF SIERRA, SHE LOVES GOD SO MUCH AND cHEYENNE HAS A BABY NOW, HE LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE YOU, SHE IS BLESSED...i ALWAYS CARRY YOU IN MY HEART..lOVE YOU MY BIG GIRL...MOM AND DAD AND FAMILY
| Diane Bohn | Brittany | April 17, 2012 |
Hi BrittanyWe miss you! happy new birthday! I hope your new home is much better
than what you had here, I know you are with Jessus , I have been dreaning of you all most every night
this week, the dreams are when you were a baby, I kept seeing you, running laughing
and having fun, those chubby leggs, just goy you every where, the picture of you I have is when your a
aunt dressed you up like a indian, you look so cute, I miss you....In my mind you are my chubby little girl
I chose to temeber you, so innocent , God gave you life, and he took you home, because I know
God takes the best early, I know since your death there have been othe rkids about your age who
died like you, or similar I know you are not alone, maybe you made friends with them, I know these
parents must be missing there loved one , though brittany, you had a child, it did not mean, you were
ll grown up, to me, your are my child, to me you died to soon, to me, you will always be my baby
Grace.....Loves you...she will know how special you were and how
you loved her, but, you made one mistake, and that is ok, I would rather have you gone home
with a compassion heart and the love you had for people and Jessus, the way you forgive, than to be like ths so call friends who were not or did not step up to the plate and take your the punisjhment of doing drugs, but you see tif they couls steal from you, if they could not get help for you, when they knew you were deadly sick, how would I expect them to sand be responsible for your death, how could I expect them to admit they could have saved you, but did not, how cold and very d like you have taken the fall for all of thme which ment, you died, leaving behind family that love you..how can i expect any compassion from these people and how can I for give them, only you, has reminded me to forgive those who do you wrong, people and I have, but it does not seem right, I say I for give them but in heart, I am having trouble with for giveness and even people I know who sell these dangerous drugs for what......they took you from, me, is money worth a life, I can not and will not be around them, infact i despise them, even iof it happens to be family, you can make monry the right way, but you can never bring back a life....I look in there face and want to say wake up, I do not know BRIT...WHY DID gOD TAKE YOU...you were just begginig to live and move past your challenges you faced when these people did nothing to try to save you, when they had time to do so is in my heart deep down, it makes me feel like I am going nuts. when will justice happen for you,. I pray for your brothers and sisters read some of my blogs about you, i hope they learn that people who leave a person to dier and steals and robs them are not your friends, if anything I want them to always keep in there heart is anyone whpo sells you drugs, is not your friend, anyone who sells dangerous drugs, is not your friends with the heart I raised you all is to have compassion and own up to your respnsibilities not run, if you break the law, you will pay the consequences and I will have this motto until I did, you do not run. aftyer you face it, yopu fix it, but you can not fix something you do not
that you deny and I raised you all with morals that is what they took from me when you died, i hope you are happy and you
taught me something, I guess that is what Gods message was when he took you from us, I don't know brit, if I can
until we see each other
http://dlzmat.multiply.com
We miss you! happy new birthday! I hope your new home is much betterthan what you had here, I know you are with Jessus , I have been dreaning of you all most every night
this week, the dreams are when you were a baby, I kept seeing you, running laughing
and having fun, those chubby leggs, just goy you every where, the picture of you I have is when your a
aunt dressed you up like a indian, you look so cute, I miss you....In my mind you are my chubby little girl
I chose to temeber you, so innocent , God gave you life, and he took you home, because I know
God takes the best early, I know since your death there have been othe rkids about your age who
died like you, or similar I know you are not alone, maybe you made friends with them, I know these
parents must be missing there loved one , though brittany, you had a child, it did not mean, you were
ll grown up, to me, your are my child, to me you died to soon, to me, you will always be my baby
Grace.....Loves you...she will know how special you were and how
you loved her, but, you made one mistake, and that is ok, I would rather have you gone home
with a compassion heart and the love you had for people and Jessus, the way you forgive, than to be like ths so call friends who were not or did not step up to the plate and take your the punisjhment of doing drugs, but you see tif they couls steal from you, if they could not get help for you, when they knew you were deadly sick, how would I expect them to sand be responsible for your death, how could I expect them to admit they could have saved you, but did not, how cold and very d like you have taken the fall for all of thme which ment, you died, leaving behind family that love you..how can i expect any compassion from these people and how can I for give them, only you, has reminded me to forgive those who do you wrong, people and I have, but it does not seem right, I say I for give them but in heart, I am having trouble with for giveness and even people I know who sell these dangerous drugs for what......they took you from, me, is money worth a life, I can not and will not be around them, infact i despise them, even iof it happens to be family, you can make monry the right way, but you can never bring back a life....I look in there face and want to say wake up, I do not know BRIT...WHY DID gOD TAKE YOU...you were just begginig to live and move past your challenges you faced when these people did nothing to try to save you, when they had time to do so is in my heart deep down, it makes me feel like I am going nuts. when will justice happen for you,. I pray for your brothers and sisters read some of my blogs about you, i hope they learn that people who leave a person to dier and steals and robs them are not your friends, if anything I want them to always keep in there heart is anyone whpo sells you drugs, is not your friend, anyone who sells dangerous drugs, is not your friends with the heart I raised you all is to have compassion and own up to your respnsibilities not run, if you break the law, you will pay the consequences and I will have this motto until I did, you do not run. aftyer you face it, yopu fix it, but you can not fix something you do not
that you deny and I raised you all with morals that is what they took from me when you died, i hope you are happy and you
taught me something, I guess that is what Gods message was when he took you from us, I don't know brit, if I can
until we see each other
http://dlzmat.multiply.com
| Mom | Grace | April 7, 2012 |
Grace, I had her for 1 week in April, she is a big girl, she is loved so much, she is funny like you wereI look at her, she looks like you, she has your personality, she is very smart, I told her that you wanted her to be
her to smart, so now when she see/s says grandma I am smart like my mommy, I said yes, she can read
and she is only five she is mature and smart beyound her years like you, God take care of her, Jamar loves
her and he spoiils her, her granny is teaching her manners, she is teaching her about God, she will
need that, when she starts to ask about what happen to you, I want to be the one who tells her I knew
you, no one has the right to tell her about you, I am your mother, I have saved memories of her I have your baby book
your baby book, she will see the video of you and her, I save them, she will know you were not a drug
abuser, she will know your strengths and weaknesses through me, she will know you were a fighter
but that day in that motel room you could not fight back because these people were to strong, iit
took three of them to do this to you! i picture this in my mind, I picture you trying to get out
I picture you calling out for me when you knew you were dying I picture you calling for Grace
I know when they took you out of that motel room when you were clutching the bedspread asking
for help, they did nothing, poliice I hate them, for not getting justice for you I hate all of this world
it makes no sense.....i do not want to celebrate any holidays...i stay home, i keep existing with out
purpose, you know people say god loves those who suffer, but in reality does it matter you are gone
I pray to God that he shows me grace...I pray he heals my heart and that promise that i will see you
again, you know Brit, the people who have hurt you, I do not see them, even family members who
were mean to you, they can not see me straight to my face they hide, just like the ones who were
you, they are not family, they know who they are, when i see them, I look at them like they are strangers
I do not asj for anything... I am punished....people hate me and despise me because I will not conform to
to there way of life, they were envy of you, the only way they could hget back at me was to hurt you and my other kids, yo
you think i would forget it, I am free for once in my life brit, there is no time to look back, I am new
and I still have those bad dreams....I have so much anger,sorrow, inside not protecting you, my job
was to protyect my kids from danger I am sorry, I did dnot do my job, i should have divorced
your dad along time ago, because I did not show you, what a good relationship, was between man and Women
I thought I hid the pain inside, I did not protect you enough, I had so much to teach you, but I
could not....now with your brothers and sisters what are they going to learn, I do not do as I do
but do as they feel is right, i was not strong enough to pull my own weight, but I said i would
not subject you to abuse of any kind, I focused on you kids and you only....when I had you all
I wanted you so much, I had to learn how to raise you alone, but it was not hard because you were
all wanted, I could remeber when you were small, I had a purpose, you made me so very happy
I was happy just to see you smile and be happy even under bad situations, we got throught it
I worked through my own inequalities because you came first, I was not going to let you suffer
like I have, when you died, i was not finished raising you, when I read your last mothers day card
I cried so hard....your feelings about me came out, I love you.....I look baclk and it was a good by letter honey
I am glad i taught you something and you felt loved, you know that is what keeps me happy Brittany
I can not find that letter, but it is in my heart for ever, not to many mothers have this, it brings me
some closure, but I had more to teach you....I wanted you to have more children and be married
I wanted you to have what i never had or a better life with your own family, i know God called you home
I know Grace is special. when I see girls your age, having fun,happy, married it makes me sad, but the most
the most hurting part of this and rips at my soul, is that your baby has no mother....these people were
selfish, now one of them has a child, why her? does she deserve to be a mother? Brandon has a forgiven
heart for them, but i don't, britt, I am writing all of this to you in hopes you can rad it this has been in my heart for allong t
I remeber bery clear, you telling me to forgive mom, you told me this over and over Britt, I can not
for give, I have had a past of pain and hurt, I remember you putting your arms around me and say
mom forgive, mom let go, you were so wise at a early age, I know holding hate and anger hurts
no one, but myself...they laugh, and I take it....I miss you! I don't go to the cemetary, I have no car, ever since you die
I know you are not there.....do you think anyone including your sister would ask me if I wanted to go see
you? nope, it is ok, when I get a car, I will go, but I have your spirit in my home and in my heart
I pray, that your brothers and sisters start acting like family, this church is all about themselves, I do not know
know what God wants but i know he does not want brothers and sisters to fight with there parents,
but it is in the bible that these things will happen, it is happening so I pray to him that he gives me
a clear message, and that he reveals this church, God is about love and peace and not about pain and hurt
material things mean nothing, jobs,homes,money, with out love you have nothing...with out
God you have nothing, you know one thing....I need god in my life because with out him...I am nothing, he is the one who
heal I lived a life of pretending....a life with out God....I was hollow for a long time, I was broken in many
parts....I see it now, and Britt you paid the price for my down falls...there must be a reason I just do not
know what...I sought help, I tried to act like i had feelings or I faked being happyu for so long
that it began who i was, but one thing I never faked t that was giving birth and loving you, even if i felt like I did not know
I did not know how to love God showed me how, he healed my scars, I look back into my life and i see
a broken person, but when god gave me you all, I was the happiest mother ever i knew what love was
all about, though i stumbled, I got up...I miss you Britt and i will always love you, my big girl
| Mom | Missing you | April 7, 2012 |
Missing you! Missing You!
The baseball season just started, the Giants, remind me of you! Ithey made it and won the world serries
in 2010, they will do it again, I burried you in number 25 Berry Bonds he is retired now, since you
died Whitney Houston is up there with you! I know yoiu used to like her...drugs will get everyone
one way or another, you have company now, Brittany, we will be moving soon, from our home, I
will not forget what that neighbor did to you! when he told you and your friends to be quiet a week
later you died, we could not ever be a family because of that neighbors they could not let you be
teenagers, after you died, he moved out, his guilt got to him, I rtemember everything, I am your
mothers I knew your weaknesses and your strengths no one can tell me any different, you are my hero
Today, Saturday April 7 th, I am thinking about you! in my room.....my place to cry and be with you
I want to remember the good times, what happen to you, will be in my mind and heart, I will never
know the truth, but brit, i know you are in a much better plcae, you have everything you did noty
have here, April 16,2012 will be 3 years since you died....I do not have a car, if you knew what i was
going through, i know you would not like it, you were my strenth, my shoulder to cry on, I can not
do it with your btothers and sisters, it's like they do not understand. Steven is wiith the church and has
The baseball season just started, the Giants, remind me of you! Ithey made it and won the world serries
in 2010, they will do it again, I burried you in number 25 Berry Bonds he is retired now, since you
died Whitney Houston is up there with you! I know yoiu used to like her...drugs will get everyone
one way or another, you have company now, Brittany, we will be moving soon, from our home, I
will not forget what that neighbor did to you! when he told you and your friends to be quiet a week
later you died, we could not ever be a family because of that neighbors they could not let you be
teenagers, after you died, he moved out, his guilt got to him, I rtemember everything, I am your
mothers I knew your weaknesses and your strengths no one can tell me any different, you are my hero
Today, Saturday April 7 th, I am thinking about you! in my room.....my place to cry and be with you
I want to remember the good times, what happen to you, will be in my mind and heart, I will never
know the truth, but brit, i know you are in a much better plcae, you have everything you did noty
have here, April 16,2012 will be 3 years since you died....I do not have a car, if you knew what i was
going through, i know you would not like it, you were my strenth, my shoulder to cry on, I can not
do it with your btothers and sisters, it's like they do not understand. Steven is wiith the church and has
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